Mum and I go for a quick lunch almost every Friday, because my lessons end just before her lunch time, and we decided we try out new cafes and restaurants every time, so we'd discover new tasty places, and last time we went to Frank, which is mainly a burger place, but my salad was delish and I had healthy fries as a side and mum had a salad to a curry burger, which she said tasted very good as well. Overall the place was cozy, I'd imagine myself there eating before a Friday night out chatting with friends, it looked somewhat like a place you'd find in Brooklyn, cozy and dark, leather couches and square-tiled floors.
In Estonia, the last year of school is full of fun things, like hasing week, about what I wrote in estonian a few posts back. School is going to end so soon and I can't imagine row quickly the time will pass.. And then there are universities and portfolios and exams etc and I don't know what to do, but this isn't about it. Besides, I'm going to show you some pics taken this year, which will probably last as good memories for a long time!
a few weeks ago we had this day called Teachers day which means the last grade will everyone copy one teacher and do their job for the whole day. This year we only got to do one lesson, but it was fun anyways. I met up with the person I was going to copy beforehand and we decided we'd be all black. And of course cameras!! It was fun
Then there's chemistry lab, which is in my opinion one of the most funny lessons during our week, everything is pretty explosive and a bit scary and the teacher isn't sometimes less afraid than us, so we don't feel that smart, but we've still managed not to burn down the school, so it's quite great!
And then there was the week when we were gods and newcomers were sheep and we got to rule for the whole week and make them do different tasks and wear different clothes etc. And Khris isn't that excited.. but the week was full of laughter and I guess we managed quite well!
And then as last grade students, we got these school badges, which have quite a long history behind them and are all engraved with our names. We got them at a ceremony where the schools organ played background music and the assembly hall was a bit dark and mysterious - was quite special
A common problem I face every day is the need for time, there obviously aren't enough hours in one day, and to get time for rest from those few left seems somewhat impossible. Then again it isn't. I find planning out my day helpful, but it has occurred to me that on the longest days when I come home, I just can't focus anymore even though I make myself to, because there just isn't time. And then there are weekends which are meant for to rest, but because the week ahead seems so crazy many use the weekends to study ahead and do all the stuff before hand. That in one way is good but the other, weekends are still meant to take time off and you need to give yourself some time off- off social media, away from computers and phones, maybe even away from people and of course from the city. Go for a walk or for a run, spend half a day in the nature and BREATHE, it gives so much more you might think. Take your loved ones with you or just go by yourself, it is crucial to breathe fresh air every once in a while.
So few weeks ago we went to the Kakerdaja Bog if I may say so. Took some time off with family and ate croissants in the forest and drank water from springs and walked and breathed and laughed and talked. It was good and the nature was very beautiful!!
Then there was this legendary Tuesday off school when I walked down to the beach and enjoyed my own company, which was so beneficial. And the weather was sooo gorgeous, luckily!
Made me miss summer and stand up paddle boarding (what a surprise!)
I can't sadly say I was off my phone as I took these pictures but luckily I had my phone because I sure did not have my keys and so my dad drove back home to open the door for me. we all fail sometimes.
back home I made myself a big bowl of smoothie and did some research about universities, which has been the main topic of conversations lately, and I so can't wait until it's all over and I know where I'm headed. I also went to Rajaleidja, which is an organisation that helps people to find their path.. it was somewhat helpful as the woman I talked to was a psychologist and gave some worthy life advice, but I did not know any better what I'd want to do with my future.. For me it's a conflict between the heart and the mind, and I hope the best from it..
Viimane nädal enne vaheaega leidis aset rebaste nädal tuntud ka nime all rets. Mis oli niii vahva ja väga meeldejääv ning tore. Rebasena oli mul tunne, nagu jumalad oleks nii palju vanemad ja targemad, aga jumalana on tunne, nagu ei olekski mingit vanusevahet, peaaegu. Igatähes algas kogu virvarr juba pühapäeva õhtul, mil leidsime lõpuks, pärast pikki nädalaid vastuse küsimusele kes on kelle jumal. Ja seda kõike "küünlatseremoonial" Tornide väljaku pargis. See oli armas õhtu.
Esmaspäeva hommikul kogunesime Vabaduse väljakule ja andsime lammastele üle nende koolikotid kõige vajalikuga terveks nädalaks. Meie kolm powerpuffi said oma nimedega särgid ning seletava kirja nende erivõimetest ja nädala ülesannetest. See oli ka vahva!
Järgnevatel hommikutel tervitati meid hommikukohvidega, mis olid kaunistatud südamete ning nimedega, näidates austust oma Jumalate vastu, ja mulle sojapiimaga, eriti nunnu!
the Gods (grussi ja guruliine) minus grebsu
no vaadake kui armsad nad oma triibuliste särkidega on! Paul the Buttercup, Toivo the Blossom ja Haar the Bubbles, in action
ja üks pärastlõuna viisime nad parki jooksma ja see oli oi kui meeleolukas
ja ma pole pikalt nii palju naernud!
siis olid meil klassidevahelised mängud, kus noole liigutused võitsid iga teise 'tantsija' katsed, u go!
muumireiv oligi selle nädala sick beats best shots ja paras biizi
ja siis oli kostüümireede!! ja gagi uhkuse white girlidena me diy'sime neid starbucksi kohvitopsideks choc chip cookied kaenlas. Ja oiii mis popid poisid puffidest said, kõik gagi valged tüdrukud tegid nendega pilte!! Paul vist käis selle kostüümiga halloweenil ka..
ja siis jõudiski kätte reedene pimesi tubades kondamine, mis oli väga meeleolukas, ning seejärel saime oma alandlikele lammastele panna sõrme sõrmused ning laulatada neid selle kooliga järgnevaks kolmeks aastaks, millele omakorda järgnes vandetseremoonia inglihoovis koos oreliga, mis oli väga maagiline ja siis oligi see vahva nädal läbi
ja me jäime ootama oma armsate lammaste videot nende nädala toimetustest loomadega rääkides ja inimesi oma hingeõhuga külmutades, aga see ehk veel tuleb, lootus sureb viimasena! aitäh armsad
Last Saturday I met up with Lise Beth, friends since birth, over a long-long time, and we sat down at NOP and had an amazing brunch!!! The food at nop has always been good, and we weren't disappointed this time as well. But in addition, the service was soooo good and this sweet woman who served us was sooo friendly and fun and this in my opinion makes a meal perfect! We both had the raspberry smoothie bowl and shared 2 rice cakes with vegan nutella and fruits. For drinks, she had a caffe latte and I tasted macha latte for the first time and I thought it'd be worse, but I got used to the grass taste and got SO much energy from it! Over all our brunch was cute, but there's never enough time, we didn't get over a half of important stuff we wanted to tell each other- glad we will meet soon again!!
I also bought a chocolate from NOP 'health market' they have next to the restaurant, because I was feeling like it and it tasted soooo good, best ever mango chock that I've tasted! (all vegan)
And as a gift I got a pack of dates which are so juicy and sweet, way better that the ones found in rimi
but what I do know is HOW GOOD it feels to feel goood
It's just like -- I can't stop smiling and I can't look at anyone in a bad way anymore, because everyone has their own story and feelings and ahhh life is just sooo good!
Of course I have bad days and bad feelings and I'm not perfect BUT I feel like a bundle of happiness and those bad moments should not let anyone down!
It all, for me, started on a Tuesday when we had a day off school, so I woke up and took a walk to the seaside and breathed fresh air and just standed there and I realised how beautiful it all was, how beautiful it all IS. Even though I do not live in Australia nor anywhere else where it's warm and sunny all the time, it's still quite nice to put on a jacket and a big scarf and walk in the fresh cold morning air and feel the cold autumn sun shining on your reddish cheeks. It all hides in little things around us, it doesn't have to be big changes in life or big news/topics all the time. Just enjoy small and seemingly meaningless things, they can crack it up quite a lot!
And even if the sun is setting already around 5pm and the only things keeping you warm are your big scarf and a cup of coffee, don't be sad or angry because it is so dark, look up and actually see or feel beautiful things like crisp air or clear sky or the colours they bring or basically anything, discover your own magic in everyday things!
It's not that hard actually..
and my oh my is this picture beautiful! I don't know about others but i sure see something too beautiful, maybe because last year this time when I looked up and saw this I thought it was so ugly that the buildings are gray and seem cold and the sun has already set and it's getting dark so early, but now I see a glimpse or 'a picture my eyes took' and I want to remember it because it is pretty damn amazing, and the beauty lies in the crisp autumn and the cold colours and realising this all makes november damn beautiful, for me at least. Just look at that lamp that is in the air and shines this cold and greenish-yellow light and aah I feel weird writing this.. it's just beautiful
For me the answer would be - change. It is changing, the way people look at things and the emotion they get out of it. But never has anyone yet got the courage to make the change and to BE the change and to let the whole world around them know what they actually think and what they believe is true, for everyone.
So this girl called Essena, was a youtuber, "instagram famous" and a blogger. I've been following her since she first released her first ever youtube video, and gone with her through all she has ever posted and published, put online. And she is just as old, as I am, 18. We are not constant and we do not know all things the world thinks we should, and as you get this social recognition (not in my case luckily) everyone magically excepts you know this and that and everything and that you do not make any mistakes or stumble across your way to being something more, that you just know it all so that if you decide to change, many think of it as "another thing a teenager does whilst not knowing who she is and wants to be" and they pity it and look at it as a bad thing. But it is not anything even close to BAD it's just discovering and wondering and MAKING a change and that's what we all should do. All of us are guilty of whining and complaining, it's time we start changing it and we all know that the change starts from youreslf, form the deep wish and dream in yourself that tells you to be a better person, and not for anyone else, FOR YOU.
I don't know yet where this all that I'm writing right now, whilst sitting on my carpet on the floor, is taking, but I assure you this is real, this is my opinion and my wish. Essena is a vegan, a beautiful girl with a beautiful mind, wishing to change our generation. She has been 'instagram famous' since being like 14 or 15 and her story is touching, but the courage it takes to put it all online is massive and I so admire her for doing this. Imagine if every 12-16 year old girl red her instagram captions (take a look at them on https://instagram.com/essenaoneill/ ) and understood that being famous or liked by others is not ANYTHING anyone ever should wish for, it's just sad and time consuming and we are so so so much better that that. Essena left social media because it's not real for her and the way it consumed her, was unbelievable. Though the message is great and touching, I still think I will continue using my instagram, not for presenting to the world what I am and how 'beautiful' my life is, but just to remember all of those moments one day. But what I did was I unfollowed all 'famous' people, because the time I spend scrolling through instagram daily was enormous and I do not want to carry on with that. From now on I only follow people that spread a positive message and who inspire me to be a better version of myself, who encourage their followers to be the change (including some vegan youtubers), and my friends/ acquaintances. From now on I promise myself whenever I'm bored whilst on a bus, I read the news or A BOOK or sketch or just sit and think, but not stalk people on social media, because to be honest, what on earth does it give me? a feeling of unworthiness and anger for not being as fit or as beautiful or as positive or as stilish as them? for not having the amount of creativity or clothes or money as they have? that is so wrong and none should EVER compare themselves to any other human being, because that doesn't lift you up, you just think that if you'd be as them or even worse- better than them, you'd be happy. Trust me it does not work that way, you are NEVER happy if you compare yourself to someone else, you just try to persuade yourself you are and you will be.
Leave it behind and focus on yourself, how can you change the world, what can you do so that you'd be a better person and the world would be a better place, how can you motivate others to do the same and how can you be happy. That should be our goal, not to be famous or liked by others or be better than others, no no no!! just be you and see, where it might take you! You will be surprised, I promise.
this last one was a game changer for me, just like a few extremely inspirational TEDx talks, but only because I focused on the parts that influenced me the most, not every bit of it was perfect.. take the time to watch these videos, and also don't forget to check out her new page: http://www.letsbegamechangers.com
But on the same time, the last video was a bit of an exaggeration, because she said that EVERYONE in LA was miserable and they all were fake and used social media to get money and to say that, it's just rude. For all this time she stayed in the US, she lived at her friends homes, under they roofs, ate the food they served her (of course buying her own as well) and met the people they introduced her to, including her secret boyfriend, and now to say this all was fake, makes me think just what, how can you say such thing, those people were nice to you, and you met them ON SOCIAL MEDIA, they made your stay as good as it could've ever been, and now you're just saying bad things about them based barely on your own experience, bu these kind of generalisations should not be made, because every one of us has their own story, all of them unique and different. And she was happy there. If someone like me would just quit social media one day saying it killed my creativity, no one would recognise that and give me the spotlight it still gives her (latest video on her vimeo) because I am not 'famous' on instagram nor blogging, but she was, she still IS because she hasn't really quit, her instagram and youtube are still available to watch and read (it's a good thing that girls can read her edited captions) and she got the attention because she already WAS famous before.
Take a look at another video posted about this thing, this changed my perspective a bit!
Like I said, I am partly on both sides of this huuuuge case going viral, it's bad and beneficial at the same time, and I think no one should take this all too seriously, it might as well be a part of learning how to love yourself and what to take out of the life given. If you have any thoughts, leave your comments down below, I'd LOVE to read and answer!! And remember, life is fun, don't look at the bad side of it only!
